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• Baldrick, I gave you two notes. You sent the note asking for a sponge bag to the finest mind in English legal history, and you sent the note requesting legal representation to.
  ..? (George enters) Well tally-ho, with a bing and a bong and a buzz buzz buzz....
• Sheriff, we gotta catch Black Bart." "Oh, yeah? What's he look like?
  "Well, he's wearin' a paper hat, a paper shirt, paper pants and paper boots....
• A change of clothes? Of course, sir! I wouldn't forget a change of clothes!
  Well, that's something. Let's see...a Robin Hood costume....
• I think I can explain, sir. Can you, Baldrick? ....
  ....No. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Corporal Punishme...
• Corporal punishment is boy punishme
• Flogging in the Army: Corporal Punishme
• Bart: Look, my stomach really hurts. Doris: All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids.
  Your choice: Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Bluebird of Unhappiness....
• Ah, what's this? Unless I'm much mistaken, a hammer and a chisel!
  You are much mistaken. ...A pencil and a miniature trumpet....
• Baldrick! I love you! I want to kiss your cherry lips and nibble your shell-like ears!
  -- Edmund : Corporal Punishme...