Related:

• 98% of the adults in this country are decent, honest, hard-working Americans.
  It's the other lousy 2% that get all the publicity. But then we elected them....
• Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold.
  .. Other people care more about the food. -- How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?...
• It is always best not to tell people of your troubles.
  Half of them are not interested and the other half are glad you're getting what's coming to you....
• Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans.
  It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity....
• Christmas is when kids tell Santa Claus what they want, and their parents end up paying for it.
  A deficit is when adults tell the government what they want, and their kids end up paying for it....
• If it wasn't for half the people in the world, the other half would be all of them.
  -- Colonel Lemuel Stoopnagle...
• Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
  -- Walter Ke...
• I think I'm schizophrenic. One half of me's paranoid and the other half's out to get him.
• Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.
  -- Herbert Gardne...