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• Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable?
  I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep ....
• Lisa: Hey, I thought Krusty was Jewish. Bart: Christmas is a time when people of _all_ religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
  [on TV, a commercial for a really violent video game plays] [a Liu Kang-like character fights against a tank, and dies] Kid...
• A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad right?
  And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you know when I'm sleeping?...
• The kids who don't believe in Santa Claus are the ones who grow up and play the horses.
• front end n. 1. An intermediary computer that does set-up and filtering for another (usually more powerful but less friendly) machine (a `back end').
  2. What you're talking to when you have a conversation with someone who is making replies without paying attention....
• front end: n. 1. An intermediary computer that does set-up and filtering for another (usually more powerful but less friendly) machine (a `back end').
  2. What you're talking to when you have a conversation with someone who is making replies without paying attention....
• Twas the night before Christmas -- the very last one -- When the blazing of lasers destroyed all our fun.
  Just as Santa had lifted off, driving his sleigh, A satellite spotted him making his way....
• Marge: You know, part of spending time together as a family is spending time apart as individuals.
  Homer: Parents' Island? Marge: Y'uh huh. I'm sure we'll appreciate each other all the more when we meet up at dinner....
• Sometimes, at the end of the day, when I'm smiling and shaking their hands, I want to kick them.
  -- Richard Milhouse Nixo...