Related:

• My sister's asthmatic. In the middle of an asthma attack she got an obscene phone call.
  The guy said, "Did I call you or did you call me?" -- John Mendoza...
• Marge: Bart, I asked you to watch your sister [Maggie].
  Bart: I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me! -- A likely story, "Stark Raving Dad...
• I'm a living saint, but you can just call me Sister Cindy. -- Sister Cindy
• Mr. B: There is a wonderful girl's future at stake.
  Homer: Well, if she's so wonderful, give her an A!...
• Monroe: This is what's known as aversion therapy. When someone hurts you emotionally, you will hurt them physically, and gradually you will learn not to hurt each other at all!
  And won't that be wonderful Homer? Home...
• Lisa: I like you too, Milhouse, but not in that way.
  You're like a big sister. Milhouse: No, I'm not!...
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• Phoebe: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
  Mr. Adelman: You're saying, my wife is in you? Phoebe...
• Lisa: Bart, I know you're not wild about having me for a babysitter, but I'm not some ogre.
  I think you will find me fair and fun. Ba...