Never Marry A Girl Named "Marie" Who Used To Be Known As "Murray." -- Johnny Carso

Never Marry A Girl Named "Marie" Who Used To Be Known As "Murray." -- Johnny Carso

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Never marry a girl named "Marie" who used to be known as "Murray."
-- Johnny Carson

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Funnier than Johnny Carson, but then again, who isn't?
In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.
-- Johnny Carso...
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. -- Johnny Carso
The difference between love and lust is that lust never costs over two hundred dollars.
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Never date a girl named "Ruby." -- Tom Wai
When turkeys mate, they think of swans. -- Johnny Carso
There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' A new hydrocarbon And since then has never benzene.
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
-- Johnny Carso...