Related:

• My wife loves ME, It's the computer she hates!
• Please excuse my wife. She may appear to be rather nasty, but underneath she has a heart of formica.
  -- Monty Pytho...
• I don't own any slaves. My wife has one, though.
• My first wife divorced me on grounds of incompatibility.
  And besides, I think she hated me. -- Oscar Leva...
• LUNACY my Best personality trait!
• But oh! as to embrace me she inclin'd, I wak'd, she fled, and day brought back my night.
  -- John Milton (1608-1674) -- On his Deceased Wife...
• My wife left me - There is a GOD!
• Everybody worships me, it's nauseating. -- Sir Noel Coward
• My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
  I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana and smoked her....