Related:

• Phoebe: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
  Mr. Adelman: You're saying, my wife is in you? Phoebe...
• Gladys: To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet Iguana, Jub-Jub.
  Jackie: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her? -- "Selma's Choice...
• My mother made me a homosexual! If I send her the yarn, can she make me one too?
• And often did beguile her of her tears, When I did speak of some distressful stroke That my youth suffer'd.
  My story being done, She gave me for my pains a world of sigh...
• Nobody liked me because I was too popular. -- Jackie Verno
• When my freshman roommate at Cornell found out I was Jewish, she was, at her request, moved to a different room.
  She told me she didn't think she had ever seen a Jew before....
• She asked me if I loved her still. Yes, I replied. I've never had you any other way.
• I managed to say, "Sorry," and no more. I knew that he disliked me to cry.
  This time he said, watching me, "On some occasions it is better to weep....