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• My brothers and sisters all hated me, 'cause I was an only child. -- "Weird" Al Yankovic
• I'll be mellow when I'm dead! -- Weird Al Yankovic
• Money can't buy happiness, so I guess I'll have to rent it. -- "Weird" Al Yankovic
• The bank called to tell me that I'm overdrawn, Some freaks are burning crosses out on my front lawn, And I *can't*believe* it, all the Cheetos are gone, It's just ONE OF THOSE DAYS!
  -- Weird Al Yankovic, "One of Those Day...
• American culture -- Oxymoro
• The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
• I want a new duck. -- Weird Al
• My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going to stay that way.
  -- Al Capone (1899-1947)...
• My daddy was a waitress, my momma sold bathroom tile.
  .. My brothers and sisters all hated me, 'cause I was an only child....