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• My brothers and sisters all hated me, 'cause I was an only child. -- "Weird" Al Yankovic
• I woke up this morning... then I went back to bed... -- Weird Al _Generic Blues_
• I hated Rush Limbaugh -- until I got my lobotomy.
• I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers -- they're going to make a game out of it.
  -- Woody Alle...
• If you say no, my brother and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week.
  -- The Blues Brothe...
• Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any Mail, And I can't recall the last time that my program didn't fail
  I've got stacks in my structs, I've got arrays in my queues, I've got the...