Related:

• My mother invented me. My father denies!
• My mother thanks you, my father thanks you...
• Now Sally, don't you know you are not supposed to eat with your knife?
  "Yes, Mother, but my fork leaks....
• If the world is my oyster, where is my oyster knife?
• My mother is from Iceland and my father is from Cuba. I guess that makes me an Ice Cube.
• Monday I have Friday on my mind....
• Every time I find a girl who can cook like my mother--she looks like my father. -- Tony Randall
• I remember a lot of things before I was even born. I remember going to a picnic with my father and coming home with my mother.
  -- Foster Brook...
• My father got my mother a telephone in the limousine.
  Big deal, every time it rings he has to run down to the garage and answer it. -- London Lee...