Related:

• I've read so much about the dangers of sex, smoking, and drinking that I've given up reading
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngma
• I used to have a life, but I liked mail-reading so much better.
• Abe: Hello. As you may know, I might not be around much longer.
  So, I've decided to give you your inheritance before I die....
• We work out entirely too much. We waste time. A friend of mine runs marathons.
  He always talks about this "runner's high." But he has to go twenty-six miles for it....
• Marge: [reading the paper] Mmm. It says Freddy Quimby beat a waiter half to death!
  Those Quimby children are so wild and rich, I hope he finally gets what's coming to him....
• Dear Emily: I recently read an article that said, "reply by mail, I'll summarize.
  What should I do? -- Doubtful Dear Doubtful: Post your response to the whole net....
• The Least Perceptive Literary Critic The most important critic in our field of study is Lord Halifax.
  A most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to give a public reading of his latest poem....
• QOTD: "What I like most about myself is that I'm so understanding when I mess things up.