Related:

• While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. -- Henny Youngma
• I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock. -- Henny Youngma
• I've read so much about the dangers of sex, smoking, and drinking that I've given up reading
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  -- Henny Youngma...
• I'm sitting in a bar, having a drink. Over here is a man having a drink.
  He falls down three times. I pick him up each time....
• I went to the bank and went over my savings. I found out I have all the money that I'll ever need.
  If I die tomorrow. -- Henny Youngma...
• I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex. It was the most *horrifying* 20 minutes of my life!