Related:

• Just when I figure out the meaning of life, there's a new upgrade.
• How many VMS heads -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  "Errr... Well, I've got a patch that I could apply to it, but if you can just wait till next year, it'll all be fixed when we upgrade to light bulb version 6....
• Marge: Homer, just where were you planning to keep this horse?
  Homer: I got it all figured out. By day, it'll roam free around the neighborhood, and at night, it'll nestle snugly between the cars in our garage....
• Marge: I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends. All you have to do is be yourself.
  [walks away] Lisa: Be myself? I've been myself for eight years and it hasn't worked....
• Once I finally figured out all of life's answers, they changed the questions.
• Microsoft Mandatory Survey (#8) Customers who want to upgrade to Windows 98 Second Edition must now fill out a Microsoft survey online before they can order the bugfix/upgrade.
  Question 8: If you could meet Bill Gates for one minute, what would you say to him?...
• Joe, did you get Jean's ansi figured out yet?
• Sophisticated - So complicated you have to read the manual for a few days straight before you can do anything with it.
  Most people don't read the manual, however. User-friendly - So simple-minded that after an hour you've got it all figured out....
• Explain is the simplest way in which you can serve eggs.
  This is no yoke. Doesn't it just crack you up? (Got these all out of my system at once!)...