Related:

• Who's on first." "I don't know!" "No, he's on third.
  "Who is?" "No, he's on first." "Who?" "That's right." -- Bud Abbott and Lou Costello...
• That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted." ~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959
• What an accident! I had the right of way, but he had the truck!
• That corner over by the fireplace looks kind of bare.
  I'd like to see something hanging there--you. -- Lou Costello...
• Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
  Prisoner #4: I'm right here, chief! Wiggum: Oh....
• Lou: You know, the funniest thing though; it's the little differences.
  Wiggum: Example. Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right?...
• Kent: Dozens of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now none of them was important.
  I'm Kent Brockman. [scene shows Burns being loaded into an ambulance] At three p....
• If you ever have an accident, I hope you have on clean underwear.
  You're driving a truck--right into another truck....
• Wiggum: All right, Mr. B. When the kidnappers call with the ransom demand, you tell them you'll leave the money under the big net in the park.
  Lou: And then down comes the net, right, Chief?...