Wiggum: All Right, Mr. B. When The Kidnappers Call With The Ransom Demand, You Tell Them You'll Leave The Money Under The Big Net In The Park.

Selma: Mr. Burns has been shot. Wiggum: Just a minute!
This isn't Mr. Burns at all! It's a mask! [pulls at his face a little] Wait, it _is_ Burns....
Kent: Dozens of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now none of them was important.
I'm Kent Brockman. [scene shows Burns being loaded into an ambulance] At three p....
Lisa: Hey! Chief Wiggum, what are you doing? What's going on?
Wiggum: I'm sorry, kid, we got Simpson DNA on Burns' clothing and your father was identified by the old man himself....
Homer: Hello, Police? Are you sitting down? Good!
I wish to report a robbery. Wiggum: [bored] A robbery, right....
Wiggum: OK, boys, we've got a clue: the bullet they took out of Burns.
Now, let's discuss the, um...[picks up Agatha Christie book] mo- tive....
Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: [indignantly] I'm pretty sure there is. Wiggum...
Burns: That's it. Fumble about with your widgets and do-bobs.
It will all be a monument to futility when my plan comes to fruition....
busts down the door, rings the doorbell] Hello! Police!
Aw man, if this one's not the right house, I quit!...
Wiggum: Beautiful. Eddie, did you trace the phone number?
Eddie: Sure did, Chief. Wiggum: [reading paper] 5-5-5....