Related:

• I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out.
  The weatherman said "I don't understand it. I was supposed to be 80 degrees today," and I said "Oops....
• I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside.
  The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." -- Stephen Wrigh...
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
  First he asked that the air-conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold and so on for about half an hour....
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
  ..I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet....
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• Today I dialed a wrong number. The other side said, 'Hello?
  ' and I said, 'Hello, could I speak to Joey?' They said,' Uh, I don't think so....
• I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies.
  So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars"... -- Steven Wrigh...