Related:

• I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold outside.
  The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees today,' and I said 'Oops....
• In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above.
  ..so I never have to go upstairs. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside.
  The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I have a microwave fireplace in my house...The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
  First he asked that the air-conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold and so on for about half an hour....
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• I have a switch in my apartment... it doesn't do anything.
  ... Every once in a while, I turn it on and off.......
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....