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• If ever I utter an oath again may my soul be blasted to eternal damnation!
  -- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), St. Joa...
• A small farmer on a kibbutz was talking to a big Texan.
  The Texan says, "How big is your farm?" Well, he says, it's 200 feet by 300 feet....
• A soap I could like better than my facial bar? Incredible!
• I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle.
  The driver and passengers then left for a vacation with injuries....
• I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy... -- Stephen Wrigh
• I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -- Steven Wrigh
• When I found out I was pregnant, I was thrilled. It made me feel just like a high school girl again.
  Also, my condition really proved most eloquently the fact that I was loved--if only for a moment....
• I can't stop my leg!!!
• Right now I feel that I've got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.
  -- Baseball pitcher Bo Belinsky...