Related:

• Bart: Look, Mom, it feels really weird having you on my turf.
  How would you feel if I started mopping the floor?...
• I have bad luck with plants. I bought me a philodendron .
  .. and I put it in the kitchen and it drank my soup. -- Joan Rive...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Chamberlin: The hometown show's the big one, Homer.
  Iha: Yeah, people who called you a weirdo in high school get to see what a successful freak you've become....
• I just met this girl Marge Bouvier and I want to force her to like me.
  -- Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Way We Wa...
• When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise.
  She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder....
• When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD.
  Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea....
• I lost my job. No, I didn't really lose my job. I know where my job is, still.
  It's just when I go there, there's this new guy doing it ....
• Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time, There's something wrong here
  here can be no more denying, One of us is changing, or maybe we just stopped trying, And it's too late, baby, now, it's too late, Though we really did try to make it, Something inside has died and I can't hide and I just can't fake it....