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• I spilled Spot Remover on my dog... Now he's gone. -- Stephen Wrigh
• I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- Stephen Wrigh
• I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone. -- Stephen Wrigh
• I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- S. Wrigh
• While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom.
  They put it in EXACTLY the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said...
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I filled my humidifier with wax and left it on. Now everything in my house is shiny.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• The other day, I was walking my dog around my building.
  ..on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights....