Related:

• I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had amnesia once or twice. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back...boy, were they mad! -- Steven Wrigh
• REPORTER: "What would you do if you found a million dollars?
  YOGI BERRA: "If the guy was poor, I would give it back....
• Reporter: "What would you do if you found a million dollars?
  Yogi Berra: "If the guy was poor, I would give it back....
• I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Homer: I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.
  Lisa: I don't think real checks have exclamation points....
• I was skydiving horizontally. -- Steven Wrigh