Related:

• I wouldn't mind paying taxes--if I knew they were going to a friendly country. -- Dick Gregory
• I love football ... Football's a fair sport for my people.
  Only sport in the world a Negro can chase a white man and 40,000 people stand up and cheer him....
• My whole freshman year I wore brown and white shoes.
  Actually they were impractical, because the white one kept getting dirty. -- Dick Cave...
• God is as real as I am, the old man said. My faith was restored, for I new that Santa would never lie.
• God is as real as I am," the old man said. My faith was restored, for I new that Santa would never lie.
• When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me eighty-five dollars.
  That's why in the Navy the captain goes down with the ship. -- Dick Gregory...
• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
  -- Shirley Temple...
• A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. -- Hoove
• Just as the prisoner was being strapped into the electric chair, the priest said, "Son, is there anything I can do for you?
  The prisoner said, "Yeah, when they pull the switch, hold my hand." -- Dick Gregory...