Related:

• Do Not Disturb signs should be written in the language of the hotel maids.
• If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
  -- On the door of a Moscow hotel room...
• In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
• Castrate - the hotel rate for actors.
• As my good friend Al Capp told me a few years ago, the best thing to do with a confirmed [hotel] reservation slip when you have no room is to spread it out on the sidewalk in front of the hotel and go to sleep on it.
  You'll either embarrass the hotel into giving you a room or you'll be hauled off to the local jug, where at least you'll have a roof over your head....
• Please do not steal towel. If you are not such person to do such thing, please do not read notis.
  -- Sign in Japaneese hotel...
• Is forbidden to steal towels, please. If you are not person to do such is please not to read notice.
  -- Sign in a Tokyo hotel...
• Please deposit your valuables in the management.
  -- Guangdong Victory Hotel instruction Card, Guangdong, China...
• In case of fire do not use elevators... Use water.