Related:

• A Chicago salesman was about to check into a St. Louis hotel when he noticed a very charming woman staring admiringly at him.
  He walked over and spoke with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked in as Mr....
• Please deposit your valuables in the management.
  -- Guangdong Victory Hotel instruction Card, Guangdong, China...
• The phone will not ring until you leave your desk and walk to the other end of the building.
  -- Linda A. Lawye...
• You know it is going to be a rotten day when... You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your spouse.
• Plymouth: Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
• Please to bathe inside the tub. -- In a Japanese hotel room
• In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. -- In a Vienna hotel
• As my good friend Al Capp told me a few years ago, the best thing to do with a confirmed [hotel] reservation slip when you have no room is to spread it out on the sidewalk in front of the hotel and go to sleep on it.
  You'll either embarrass the hotel into giving you a room or you'll be hauled off to the local jug, where at least you'll have a roof over your head....
• From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditione
  Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself....