Related:

• Wiggum: Hold it right there. [gets out his car] Well, if it isn't Springfield's finest little babysitter, Lisa Simpson!
  Lisa: Hi! How are you?? Wiggum: Um, I'm fine....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Bart: [sleepy] Hello? Bruno: Right! I'm calling all the way from Squatter's Crog, Australia and I want to speak to, er, Dr.
  Bart Simpson right now. Bart: Uh...[plugs nose] hold, please....
• Why does it hurt when I pee? My balls feel like a pair of maracas!
  I got it from the toilet seat! It jumped right up and grabbed my meat!...
• Marge: So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case? Hutz
  I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson, but you can't copyright a drink....
• I have a few good reasons for drinking And one has just entered my head If a man can't drink when he's living How the hell can he drink when he's dead?
• Abe: They say the greatest tragedy is when a father outlives his son.
  I have never fully understood why. Frankly, I can see an up-side to it!...
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.