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• I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. -- Steven Wrigh
• You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip over?
  Well, that's how I feel all the time. -- Steven Wrigh...
• My girlfriend and I went on a picnic. I don't know how she did it, but she got poison ivy on the brain.
  When it itched, the only way she could scratch it was to think about sandpaper. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I hate flashbacks! I hate flashbacks! I hate flashbacks! I hate...
• Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• In bed the other night my girlfriend asked "if you could know exactly when and where you would die, would you want to?
  I said "no". She said, "ok, then forget it". -- Steven Wrigh...
• I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. -- Steven Wrigh
• I got this powdered water -- now I don't know what to add. -- Steven Wrigh