Related:

• It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
  -- Homer Simpso...
• Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
  -- Back when Homer wasn't in a bind, "Lisa's First Word...
• Marge: Homer, I think the baby is coming. Homer: Wow.
  A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?...
• Bart: Krusty funny! Homer: Duh. -- Homer watches TV with Little Bart, "Lisa's First Word
• Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time.
  Like that day I hit that referee with a whiskey bottle....
• Lisa: When do we get to my first word? Homer: Your what what?
  Lisa: [indignant] My first words! Homer: Nah, you don't want to hear that story....
• Marge: I saved this newspaper from the day Lisa was born.
  Lisa: "Mondale to Hart: [confused] Where's the beef?...
• Cop: Word on the street is that you have an illegal cable hookup.
  Homer: No! No, I... It wasn't me. It was my wife....
• Ned: If you need anything just give a whistle. Home
  I could use a TV tray. Ned: Well, gee... Homer: What?...