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• Good Eeevening. I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares.
  You see, there are some *crybabies* out there, religious types mostly, who might be offended....
• Marge: Homer, did you just call everyone "chicken"?
  Homer: Noooo. I swear on this Bible! Marge: That's not a Bible...
• Merchant: Sir, I must strongly advise you, do not purchase this.
  Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. I, myself, was one president of Algeria....
• Well, I acquired it legally, you can be sure of that.
  -- Homer Simpson Treehouse of Horror VI...
• Skinner: Our next budget item: $12 for doorknob repair.
  Parents: Nay! [burning Willy tries to escape, but the doorknob falls off] Skinne...
• Vendor: Sir, I must strongly advise you: Do not purchase this.
  Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. I, myself, was once president of Algeria....
• Come here, you little raven! -- Homer Simpson Treehouse of Horro
• Y'know, you look a little flushed. Maybe you should eat more vegetables and less people.
  .. -- Marge Simpson to 'King Homer', "Treehouse of Horror III...
• Man: Awwwwwwooo Ooooooogh! kids: [all screaming] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
  Ned: Hi kids! Did I scaredly-dare you? Bart: Nice try, Mr....