Related:

• Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
  Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?...
• Homer: Wow, you sure know how to cheat, Mr. Burns. Bu
  Yes, well, I'm older than you. Burns: You know, Simpson, you're not as objectionable as you seemed when we first met....
• Burns: And this is my basement. [reveals a traditional unfinished basement, complete with ping-pong table] Home
  Gee, it's not as nice as the other rooms. Burns: Yes, I really should stop ending the tour with it....
• Burns: Now, let's get down to business. Homer: [thinks] Oh, man.
  I have to go to the bathroom. Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon?...
• Then I got <this> scar sneaking under the door of a pay toilet.
  -- Homer, "Last Exit to Springfield...
• Homer: Which way to the bathroom? Burns: Oh, it's the twenty-third door on the left.
  -- "Last Exit to Springfield...
• Lisa: What happened, Dad? Homer: I punched Burns right in his 104-year-old face.
  Lisa: Are you sure he's dead? Maybe you just really really hurt him....
• Charlie: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a _real_ emergency exit!
  Burns: Why, that's a _fabulous_ idea! Anything else you'd like?...
• Doris: Eternal darkness. Well, that's just great. Apu
  Listen, someone's got to get that Mr. Burns. Where is that gun- toting lowlife when you need one?...