Related:

• Homer: They're ruining my whole life. Marge, please, this is where I need you the mo
  I'm counting on you do to something or say something to make it all better....
• Marge: I can't believe I put my own pleasure ahead of my home and family.
  That is so like me. Homer: Oh, Marge, don't blame yourself....
• Homer: Ooh la la! Lisa: Hi, Dad. Homer: You look great, sweetheart.
  Lisa: [abashed] Thanks. Homer: Little Lisa, Lisa Simpson....
• Homer: Oh, I need money. Apu: Well, if you need money, you should have at least jammed a gun in my ribs, or better yet, you could inquire about my help-wanted sign.
  Homer: You're looking for help? Apu: Yes, we need someone for the demanding yet high-profile midnight to 8am shift....
• Marge: I can't believe you vandalized your own hometown, Bart.
  What would Jebediah Springfield say? Ba...
• The Opinions expressed here are my own - I managed to form them without *Any* help from my employers.
  .... -- DISCLAIMER...
• I tried ordering you, I tried punishing you, and God help me, I even tried reasoning with you.
  -- Homer, "Bart the Daredevil...
• I'm used to seeing people promoted ahead of me -- friends, co-workers, Tibor.
  I never thought it'd be my own wife. -- Homer Simpson Marge Gets A Job...
• Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids!
  Eat them. -- Homer Simpson Treehouse of Horror VII...