I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money.

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• I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money.
  They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some...
• I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt.
  "What are you making?" "A salt lick." -- Steven...
• A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar.
  "You didn't borrow this." "I will." -- Steven...
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Stephen...
• I went to a place to eat. It said `BREAKFAST ANYTIME.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
  Stephen...
• I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify".
  I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?...
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi...
• I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's.
  The clerk said, ten-four. -- Steven...
• I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies".
  So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that...