Related:

• Marriage? Sorry, I can't mate in captivity.
• There was a young lady at sea Who said, "God, how it hurts me to pee.
  "I see," said the mate, "That accounts for the state Of the captain, the purser, and me....
• A spaceship from the planet Zong lands in Farmborough.
  It is the middle of the night - the town is deserted (not that there's much happening in the daytime in Farmborough) as the aliens (who are rather petrol - pump - like in their appearance) descend from their ship....
• Three youths were seated in a restaurant near an elderly lady, whom they conspired to shock.
  Said the first in a load voice, "I was born three months before my parents were married....
• Two elderly ladies are sitting on the porch in their rockers just talking 'girl' talk.
  Emma: My word Matilda! You and Johnny were married for quite some time....
• The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do.
  He told Red, "I'm sure my readers would love to hear the tale behind your pegleg....
• Man and wife make one fool. A fate worse than death
  o be married alive. Don't marry for money. You can always borrow it cheaper....
• An Australian woman's car was involved in a motor accident.
  A policeman asked what gear she was in. "Can't you see for yourself?...
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....