The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do.

The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who
was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do. He told Red,
"I'm sure my readers would love to hear the tale behind your pegleg."

"Well, I was thrown from the ship during galeforce winds, and before me
mate could throw me a line, a shark bit me leg clean off."

The interviewer was sort of disappointed. "What about the hook at the
end of your right arm?"

"I lost it in a sword fight with the Captain of the Guard."

Again the reporter was disappointed. "Certainly there's an exciting
story about the patch on your eye?"

"One day, I was out on deck, and a bird flew over and crapped in me eye."

The reporter was amazed. "That's why you wear a patch?"

"Well, I'd only had me hook a couple of days."