An Australian Woman's Car Was Involved In A Motor Accident.

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An Australian woman's car was involved in a motor accident.
A policeman asked what gear she was in.
"Can't you see for yourself? I'm wearing a floral dress with
brown shoes and a matching handbag."

An Australian woman's car was stalled at the traffic lights.
After a while a policeman approached her and asked: "Red,
amber, green, don't any of the colors suit you?"

An Australian farmer was bragging in the pub that he could get
in his Holden in the morning and drive all day without reaching
the boundary of his farm. A New Zealander who could not help
hearing the remark replied: "Interesting mate. We've got cars
like that in New Zealand too"

Q: How do you sink an Australian Submarine?
A: Knock on the hatch!

A notice in an Australian police station:
"Help the Police -- Beat yourself up."

When will the the Australian police force become sucessful?
When it catches more criminals than it employs.

Whats the definition of an australian in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.

Q: Hear about the Australian String Quartet that is visting
New Zealand at the moment?
A: There are six members.

A list of classic pick-up lines

That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...

Do you want to see something swell?

Hey you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

Drop 'em.

What do you like for breakfast?

Is that a double ended dilldo or are you just glad to see me?

Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Hi there! I'm interested in having breakfast with you. Can I call you
or nudge you?

Excuse me. Do you wanna f**k or should I apologize?

Irish : Have you got a little Irish in you?
Irish: Well, do you want some?

Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate
and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

Say, didn't we go to different schools together?

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about
the first thing that pops up?

I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said:
Smile if you want to sleep with me
then watch the victim try to hold back her smile...

Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far?

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us