Related:

• Now for a *harmless* practical joke. My favorite telephone gag is to call someone at random, and with an official tone rattle off this warning before they can interrup
  "This is the telephone company calling. There is some trouble with your line....
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so.
  Hang up....
• Call in, tune up, turn out, hang up.
• A man goes to the psychiatrist a nervous wreck. The shrink tells him to sit down and explain his problem.
  He says, "Well, doc, I keep having this dream where I am at this party full of people and I look across the room and there is a beautiful blonde woman and she walks over and our hands touch and instantly we are alone in a room, naked....
• However, the most effective one I have had so far can be used only one day per yea
  This is David. I'm not using the phone over Yom Kippur, so please leave a message or call back after the holiday....
• Fun Things To Do To Telemarketers: ** Turn on the TV.
  Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud....
• THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!
  ) Monday ------ 8:05am User called to say they forgot password....