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• IF 1. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  2. If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?...
• Some simple truths of life by George Carlin... 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
  2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
• There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
  For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephantÕs tail, really hard....
• There was two businessmen, whose names happened to be Mr Turtle and Mr Carro
  and one day as they were coming back from lunch Mr Turtle says to Mr Carrot, "You know, you're getting fat", to which Mr Carrot says "You're not so slim yourself!...
• 64 Have you heard of knock-kneed Samuel McGuzzum Who married Samantha, his bow-legged cousin?
  Some people say, Love finds a way, But for Sam and Samantha it doesn'....
• You Chicken Why did the chicken cross the road?
  To show the armadillo/raccoon that it was possible....
• Why did God create armadillos? So Mexicans would have something to eat on the half shell.
• Q: Why did the bee fly past Shell, Texaco, Exxon, Mobil and Sonoco?
  A: Because he was an Esso Bee....