Related:

• Old Mother Hubbord went to the cubbord to get her poor dog a bone
  When she bent over rover came over and gave her a bone of his own....
• Old Mother Hubbord went to the cubbord to get her poor daughter a dre
  When she got there the cubbard was bare and so was her daughter, I guess....
• Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".
  I call mine Sex. Sex has been embarrassing to me....
• Various Ways To Say "Having Sex" Bang Be the rug doctor Beaver shooting Been ridin' broomsticks since she was fifteen Bend her over and load her like a shotgun Bit-o-the-ol'-in-out Bite the bearded clam Bob the knob Boink Bone Smuggling Bopping Bottom knockin' Bounce the Brillo Break her open like a shotgun Buff the helmet Buffing Bumping uglies Bury the hatchet Butter her muffin Carpet munching Check her oil Clean the carpet Come to my bed and let's practice parallel parking Cuttin' a slice Dance the buttock jig Dent the egg Dip your wick Do it Do the horizontal mambo Do the Wild Thing Doing it Doing the nasty Dueling Bedsprings Eat at the Y Feed the bear Fenorking Fit pipe Flat Dancing Fooling around Fuck Get a leg over Get your bone honed Get your noodle wet Gettin' Busy Getting you ashes hauled Getting your bunny boiled Getting your canoe shellacked Getting your horns filed Getting your weiner wet Give her the time Giving her a pearl necklace Go like a rat up a rhododendron Goin' horizontal Hammerin' Hawaiian Muscle Fuck (titty-fuck) He hasn't had his tires rotated in months Hide and shriek Hide the HotDog Hide the sausage Hiding the salami Hobble Hose I wanna bust that body I'm having lunch at the Y.
  It's a box lunch - furburgers! I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe Lay cable Lay pipe Lay the hen Let's go "Whale some babes"!...
• Impure Mathematix ================= Wherein it is related how that polygon of womanly virtue
  young Polly Nomial (our heroine) is accosted by that notorious villain Curly Pi, and factored (oh, horrors!...
• Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I wanted to be different, so I called my dog "Sex.
  I found out that "Sex" is a very embarrassing name....
• Murphy's Laws On Love and Sex The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
  Nothing improves with age. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again....
• Around Holiday time we all get to see the family and pass on lore and gossip.
  One day a little girl was watching her mother make a great roast beef....
• When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several places.
  But, it was too late to differentiate now. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically....