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Wherein it is related how that polygon of womanly virtue, young

Polly Nomial (our heroine) is accosted by that notorious villain

Curly Pi, and factored (oh, horrors!).

Once upon a time (1/t) pretty Polly Nomial was strolling across a

field of vectors when she came to the boundary of a singularly large

matrix. Now Polly was convergent and her mother had made it an

absolute condition that she never enter such an array without her

brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that

morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this

condition on the basis that it was insufficient, and made her way

amongst the complex elements. Rows and columns closed in from all

sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor.

Quite suddenly, two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single

point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and

went completely divergent. As she reached a turning point, she

tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf and

plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once

more, she found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non-euclidean

space.

She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi,

was lurking innerproduct. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear

coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. He wondered, was

she still convergent? He decided to integrate improperly at once.

Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw

Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could

see at once by his degenerate conic and dissipative terms that he was

bent on no good.

"ArcSinh!" she gasped.

"Ho, Ho," he said. "What a symmetric little asymptote you have.

I can see your angles have lots of Secs."

"Oh, Sir," she protested, "keep away from me. I haven't got my

brackets on."

"Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator. "your fears

are purely imaginary."

"i, i," she thought. "Perhaps he's not normal, but homologous."

"What order are you?" the brute demanded.

"Seventeen," replied Polly.

Curly leered, "I suppose you've never been operated on."

"Of course not," Polly replied quite properly, "I'm absolutely

convergent!"

"Come, come," said Curly. "Let's off to a decimal place I know

and I'll take you to the limit."

"Never!!" gasped Polly.

"Abscissa!!!" he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His

patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a natural

log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He

stared at her significant places, and began smoothing out her points

of inflection. Poor Polly. The algorithmic method was now her only

hope. She felt his hand tending toward her asymptotic limit. Her

convergence would soon be gone forever.

There was no mercy, for Curly was a heavyside operator. Curly's

radius squared itself; Polly's loci quivered. He integrated her by

parts. He integrated her by partial fractions. After he cofactored,

he performed Runge-Cutta on her. The complex beast even went all the

way around and did a coutour integration. Curly went on operating

until he had satisfied her hypothesis. Then, he exponentiated and

became completely orthogonal.

When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she was

no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several

places. But, it was too late to differentiate now. As the months

went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally, she

went to L'Hopital and generated a small but pathological function

which left surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation.

The moral of our sad story is this:

"If you want to keep your expression convergent,

never allow them a single degree of freedom."

- The responses below mention the following works (a few added)

A Random Walk in Science - R.L. Weber and E. Mendoza More Random Walks In Science - R.... - Impure Mathematix
=================
Wherein it is related how that polygon of womanly virtue

young Polly Nomial (our heroine) is accosted by that notorious villain Curly Pi, and factored (oh, horrors!... - quot;Abscissa!!!" he swore, using the vilest oath he knew.

His patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a natural log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities.... - There was no mercy, for Curly was a heavyside operator.

Curly's radius squared itself; Polly's loci quivered.... - Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw
Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated.

She could see at once by his degenerate conic and dissipative terms that he was bent on no good.... - When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she was
no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several
places.

But, it was too late to differentiate now. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically.... - She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi,
was lurking innerproduct.

As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face.... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!

looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.

The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here....