My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background,
or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello. You have reached
xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe. No one is
available right now, but, if you'll leave your name, phone number,
mastercard or visa number, sexual preference, and message, your deity
of choice will get back to you as soon as is. . .humanly possible. Thank
you very much, and have a nice life."
or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello. You have reached
xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe. No one is
available right now, but, if you'll leave your name, phone number,
mastercard or visa number, sexual preference, and message, your deity
of choice will get back to you as soon as is. . .humanly possible. Thank
you very much, and have a nice life."
Related:
- The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages
"Hi!
I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your... - with a kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" in the background.
] "Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call... - Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name,
number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you... - the quiet, eerie vocal part of 'hello, earth' by kate bush]
(after about 30 seconds):
"hello. you have reached xxx-xxxx. we can't come... - One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine.
Another voice:
Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our... - Ring, Ring:
The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed,
the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA... - My wife and I can't come to the phone right now,
but if you'll leave your name and number we'll get... - In the background can be heard Gregorian Chant or some other church music
<In a soft voice> Good Day My child,
you have reached {name} dial a confession. At the... - Background music: Something psychotic sounding, like Revolution 9
(Beatles) or Toccata (ELP))
Hello,
you have reached the <Housing Complex> Psychatric...
From the same category:
- How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) Two. One to assure the everything possible is... - A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
- Ben... - Born free..
Taxed to death... - What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Give him a tight jersey... - Q: What is the best thing about Alzheimer's disease?
A: You meet so many new people...
