Related:

• My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background, or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello.
  You have reached xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe....
• Thank you for calling XXX-XXXX. If you wish to speak to Tim push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
  If you wish to speak to Lynn push 2 on your touch tone phone now....
• in Michelangelo's voice: Hi, dudes, this is 031 343 xxxx.
  This is the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' secret underground hideaway....
• Your lucky number has been discontinued.
• beep, beep, beep> The number you have reached, Seven.
  Six. Seven. One. Two. Three. Four. [Use your number here....
• I saw this in the For Sale column of our local newspaper.
  .. ( some parts have been censored ;-) Cemetary Plot, No....
• Calling Technical Support.... Ring... Ring... Ring.
  .. Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring....
• b.g. music is frantic, violin oriented] "hello.
  you have reached xxx-xxxx. we are currently unable to answer because we are either chasing, or being chased by, bats....
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....