Related:

• You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.
• Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
• Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
• Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead.
  Wait for the beep....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• with a kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" in the background.
  ..] "Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached....
• in Michelangelo's voice: Hi, dudes, this is 031 343 xxxx.
  This is the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' secret underground hideaway....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....