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• Hi! You have reached 579-7599. This is an answering machine.
  This is the Eighties. You know what to do....
• Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
• Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• with a kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" in the background.
  ..] "Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....
• My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background, or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello.
  You have reached xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe....
• The number you have reached is not in service !