YOUR STARSHIP CAPTAIN JUST MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF....
* Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
* He paints flames and an NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
* You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
* He refers to Klingons as "critters"
* He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
* He has a sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
* He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
* He says "got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
frequencies"
* He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
* He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
* He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
* He says "Yee-HA!" instead of "Engage"
* He has a hand tooled holster for his phaser
* He insists on calling his executive officer "bubba"
* He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
* He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs and turnip greens
* He paints the starship John Deere Green
* He refers to a Pulsar as a "blue light special"
* He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
* His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
* He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
* His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
* He wears mirrored shades on the bridge
* His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans
and weenies
* He sets his phaser to "Cajun"
* Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
* He paints flames and an NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
* You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
* He refers to Klingons as "critters"
* He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
* He has a sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
* He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
* He says "got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
frequencies"
* He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
* He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
* He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
* He says "Yee-HA!" instead of "Engage"
* He has a hand tooled holster for his phaser
* He insists on calling his executive officer "bubba"
* He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
* He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs and turnip greens
* He paints the starship John Deere Green
* He refers to a Pulsar as a "blue light special"
* He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
* His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
* He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
* His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
* He wears mirrored shades on the bridge
* His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans
and weenies
* He sets his phaser to "Cajun"
Related:
- He's Dead Jim. Get His Phaser,
I Got His Wallet... - Christmas 2000
A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.
Please read the following carefully....... I regret... - YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK IF....
You still have an 8-track tape player in your car or house.
Your idea of safe sex doesn't include anyone else.... - Bubba
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know,
I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - Kill the nerds
Since hunting season is going strong,
I thought this might be approprite... This was sent... - A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and
tried striking up a conversation .
"Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies... - TOP 118 REASONS WHY IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A NERD
1) His shoelaces are hardly ever untied
2) Doesn't pick his nose in public
3) Has never put a red shirt in with the whites
4) Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust
5) When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building,
he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has... - Cromwell and Rasputin
by
as submitted to
Dr.
Richard King The following essay was an actual...
