Cromwell And Rasputin By As Submitted To Dr.

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Cromwell and Rasputin
as submitted to
Dr. Richard King

The following essay was an actual submission by a stu-
dent, who was given the assignment: ``Write a term paper
comparing and contrasting two revolutionary figures of your
choice. The figures are to be selected from different
periods of European history.''

Unlike most papers of student bloopers, which are col-
laborative efforts, this one is the work of the exception-
ally fruitful pen of a single student. Read it and enjoy!

The English and the Russian revolutions had a leader
that stood out to have an effect on the revolution. For the
Russian it was Rasputin. He was born in the reign of the
Tsar-Emperor Alexander the Second, absolute ruler of over a
hundred million people consisting of fifty some nationali-
ties and speaking nearly two-hundred-different languages or
dialects. This empire stretched from the Prussian border to
beyond the Pacific Ocean. Rasputin was an Autocrat who
ruled by himself. He was free to appoint and dismiss minis-
ters as he pleased. Then theirs Oliver Cromwell, a man who
stood for the commission of the unthinkable act, the execu-
tion of the king, should have pushed the Commonwealth and
its leaders into further international isolation. These
were some of the issues that Oliver Cromwell drived for in
the English Revolution. Cromwell was dominant political
figure from 1649 to 1658. He had lead the attack on the
king and had many followers and support. These twoffigures,
Rasputin and Oliver Cromwell, ha had great emphasis on the
outcome of their revolutions (Russian and English). Lets
look at some similarities and differences on how they ruled
their reign of power.

Cromwell was a careful figure who ruled intil his death
in 1658. He lead an organization of parliament forces of
centralized army called the new model army. Cromwell was an
independent so he was frightened of parliament changing
religion. Cromwell had faith in his reign, he believed that
Parliament couldn't win the civil war if they didn't try
someting different.

Rasputin was also a careful and powerful leader. When
Nicholas went to the front to take personal command of the
army, his wife Alexandra took over government affairs and
relied on Rasputin almost completely. So Rasputin also con-
trolled an army and became a successful leader. Although he
was killed by the people, it was because of the sake of the

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people in Russia. They felt that he was discrediting Nicho-
las II. Rasputin was such a key role in ruling the army,
Alexandra went into shock because of the death of Rasputin.

Oliver Cromwell was born in 1599. He immediately took
interest in public affairs. After he had become an under-
graduate at Cambridge, his father fied which brought him
back home to take care of his mother and the family. He
also took over his fathers business which was the management
of land. Later he had experienced a change of religion to
the Puritan side. He was respected so much by his neigh-
bours from his management of land, that they choose him to
represent Huntington in the Parliament which described
itself by the Petition of Right. Cromwell, however, was
known to have interest in religion before politics. He had
never really been able to hankle constitutional questions,
and was opposite as a whole to them.

Rasputin, however, was also a very religious man. He
went to early mass at six o'clock in the morning at Afonskoe
Podvorie. He was so admirred, that on the way back from
mass there would be a crowd of followers behind him, who
accompanied him into the dining room for breakfast. Among
these guests were petitioners who arrived around eight
o'clock. Rasputin was always called upon by Tsarskoe Selo
at ten o'clock, even thought he was usually sleeping by this
time. A secret came out that Rasputin was prepared to carry
out various transactions, arrange reals of military ser-
vices, get sentences of imprisonment released, or dispose of
the granting of concessions. While known that Rasputin was
open for bribes, also took into consideration the help of
petitioners who came to him with nothing.

These two leaders, and their different personalities
make them both uneque. These two leaders had great effect
on the outcome of their revolutions. Even though their
techneques were not exactly alike they had similarities in
their personal behavior and their beliefs. These two fig-
ures reigned at two different times and are also two dif-
ferent people in most respects.

A Young mother was once again pregnant and trying to explain to her little girl
how she had got this way. She explained how a baby was growing in her tummy,
and how it took and egg and a sperm. Daddy made the sperm, and mommy made the
egg. So the little girl asks, "so if it takes a sperm and an egg to make a
baby, and the egg is already in your tummy, then how doest the sperm get in
there. Does mommy swallow it?"
Her mother replys.."She does if she wants a new cocktail dress."

One of the ways farmers get bulls to mate with cows is to
stick their fist up the cow's vagina and move it around, thereby
getting the smell etc on their hand. The farmer then wipes the
excretion under the Bull's nose. The bull gets excited, erect,
and voila, they mate.
Well, this farmer has been unable to get it up for his wife
for the last month or so. He just can't get excited. So he's
lying in bed next to his mate, who's fallen asleep, and he
decides to see if the aforementioned technique will work with
So he sticks a couple of fingers in his wife's vagina and moves
it around and around. He then takes his hand and wipes under
his nose with it. Sure enough, he gets erect, turns on the
lights, and quickly wakes his wife up, so that he can have sex with
She rolls over, looks at him, and angrily says:
"You woke me up just because you got a bloody nose?!"

a man goes to the doctor for a yearly examine & notices that his hair
is thining so he asks the doc if there is anything he can do & the
doc says no. so he stops for a drink on the way home & asks the
bartender who says "this might not work but i have heard that a
womans juices & cum can bring your hair back but i've never
tried that."
so being a divorced man, he calls his ex-wife up for a date but
at first she declines as it's her time of month. then remembering
how she likes adult movies but won't go alone, so he persuades her.
during the movie, he gets her turned on & eventually puts his hand
up her dress & fingers her. then her secretly rubs his hand on his
head. he continues to do this till his head is all tingly. as the
movie is over & the house lights come on, one blub burst & the
glass hits a lady sitting behind out man, she brushes it off then
see the man, she points & screams "my gawd, he's been shot in the head!!"