A guy walks into a pub with a pig under his arm, and this pig has a wooden leg.

A guy walks into a pub with a pig under his arm, and this pig has a
wooden leg. The guy orders a beer for himself, and a dish of water
for the pig. The barman says "No worries mate. Tell me, how did your
pig there get a wooden leg?"

The guy replies, "Look mate, this is a bloody fantastic pig. One day
I was driving home late at night when I fell asleep crashed the car.
The pig jumped out of the back, set my broken leg, found me water, and
kept me warm until help arrived. Bloody fantastic pig this."

And the barman says, "Thats a pretty impressive pig all right, but you
haven't told me how it got its wooden leg."

So the guy says, "Listen to this mate. A few weeks ago I was going
to America for a business trip. Well some idiot opened the plane door
and I was sucked out. I thought that was the end for me, but far above
me I saw the pig jump out of the plane. It swam through the air to me,
strapped on a parachute, landed me in the sea, blew up a rubber raft,
paddled to shore, hailed a taxi, and got me to my meeting with an
hour to spare!"

And the barman says, "Wow! That sure is some pig you have there, but
you still haven't told me how it got its wooden leg."

So the guy says, "Listen mate, if you had a pig this good, would you
eat it all at once?"