ABOUT AS ...
HOPELESS as trying to pick up salt with a plunger
INTERESTING as watching paint dry
INTERESTING as watching grass grow
OBVIOUS as a dog's dick
POPULAR as Stevie Wonder with a flame thrower
USELESS as a condom to a eunuch
WELCOME as a turd in a swimming pool
WELCOME as a pork sausage at a barmitzvah
SHARP as a bowling ball
HOPELESS as trying to pick up salt with a plunger
INTERESTING as watching paint dry
INTERESTING as watching grass grow
OBVIOUS as a dog's dick
POPULAR as Stevie Wonder with a flame thrower
USELESS as a condom to a eunuch
WELCOME as a turd in a swimming pool
WELCOME as a pork sausage at a barmitzvah
SHARP as a bowling ball
Related:
- Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it. Please keep it that way... - Things to do When Bored
-Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs
-Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings
-Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button
-Water your dog.
see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself... - BE A KID AGAIN....
Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
%end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you... - Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome.
Dog food is expensive... - Writing Contest
FROM AN ACTUAL NEWSPAPER CONTEST WHERE
ENTRANTS AGE 4 TO 15 WERE ASKED TO
IMITATE "DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY":
My young brother asked me what happens after we die... - The Light at the End of the Tunnel Could be a flame
thrower... - A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane... - Arizona Diary:
May 30th
Just moved to Tucson, Arizona.
Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful...
