Related:

• When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• Q: To what question is the answer "9W." A: "Dr. Wiener, do you spell your name with a V?
• Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
  22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings....
• You Know You've Been Online Too Long When... ** Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
  ** When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search function to get to the point....
• You must have the wrong number; I spell my name DANGER!
• How Do You Spell Relief ? F-A-R-T
• How do you spell RELIEF? DISK_SPACE!