You Know You've Been Online Too Long When...
** Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
** When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search
function to get to the point.
** Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."
** When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your
** You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's nothing
** You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
** You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your
** You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."
** Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
** You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl" face-to-face.
** You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
** You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
** You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete
** You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
** When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
** You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the night when your
spouse is asleep.
** You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're
** You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do your own
** You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they
complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.
** You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to
** You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying
too much than the truth.
** You change your screen name so much that you have to do a who is to know
who you are.
** You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the
** You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
** Your dog leaves you.
** You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
** You type faster than you can think.
** You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls
up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
** You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
** You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to
check your mail and while there you "just wanted to see who was online."
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...