Related:

• Hi, can I speak to Mark?...Oh, there isn't?...I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
  looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
  The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here....
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• E'llo." "My name is Inigo Montonya." "You killed my father.
  "Leave your name and number, and prepare to die." ...
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
• Well, this isn't strictly from an answering machine, but.
  .. >From Calvin and Hobbes: (phone rings) (you answer) Hello, this is &l...
• In the background can be heard Gregorian Chant or some other church music &l
  In a soft voice> Good Day My child, you have reached {name} dial a confession....