Related:

• I once knew a medical man who loved frozen daiquiris.
  He was at a bar one night drinking one when a piece of hickory-wood form the ceiling fell into the glass....
• WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN OAKIE' AND A DAMN FOOL?
  THE RED RIVER. In Texas, we're proud to have the best politicians that money can buy....
• Do you care? ... A young boy runs into a general store and shouts, "Gimme a piss-pot!
  The owner shouts back, "Hey, you can't just come in here and say that!...
• A Fishy Story It was April 4th 44, being a quadruple leap year, I was driving downtown Atlantis, my Baracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray and it was overheating.
  I pulled into a Shell Station, they said I'd blown a seal....
• get a life friend told me I really had to get a life.
  I thought about that and decided maybe she was right....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• Kids Say the Darndest Things (Young Wisdom - Out of the Mouths of Babes) A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
  On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....
• Dad's Words of Wisdom Don't ask me, ask your mother.
  Were you raised in a barn? Close the door. You didn't beat me....